*begin rant*
I am seriously lacking grad school research motivation. I procrastinate like there's no tomorrow, not because I want to, but because I don't think I can take another disappointment, especially a research based one. Especially since this last rout of troubleshooting has lasted almost a year.
Why can't my experiments just work? And before you answer "Duh, because it's an experiment and it's research", I know that, but still I've been in school way too long and I just want things to work so that I can get out of here. Anyone here feel like this? Going through this? I feel so old and washed up compared to the fresh out of undergrad students who are super motivated to do research.
I have the imposter syndrome, or have been told I do. But sometimes I seriously believe that the reason why I'm still here toiling away in lab is because I'm stupid and that I've learned nothing in my nth years here in graduate school. Fast approaching infinity!
I need to get my butt in gear, but it's so hard because I don't want another failed experiment (I just started one yesterday). I always find other things to do, like blog, or surf the web, or watch tv, etc, or read phdcomics, and laugh about how those comics directly correlate to my life. I DON'T want to be in school forever, but I need experiments to work. ACK, this is the problem with biology related theses.
*end rant*
Someone out there,
On a completely different note, I rewatched Emma, with Gwenyth Paltrow and Jeremy Northam (see what I said about doing anything but work). I'm such a old fashioned romantic at heart, *sigh*, if only those romances existed now, based on friendships, etc. I should find myself a Mr. Knightley, alas probably extinct nowadays.
Oh, and I also loved the book! Recommend this to anyone who's looking for a sweet movie to watch or a good book!
7 comments:
we students deserve to rant as much as we can LOL. well, to make you feel better, at least you don't have finals in 3 days time ahahhaha. unlike some people (like me) WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. i hope i pass this finals & become a doctor soon. wait, that does not sound good at all. erk.
I love all of Jane Austen's stuff! Although I'd prefer a Mr. Darcy for myself. Why can't love be like that these days? Anyway, sorry I'm not much of a motivator. I'm a procrastinator. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?
girl in stiletto: Oh hon, good luck on exams! I'm sure you'll do phenomenal! No finals, just non-working experiments! I want to be a doctor too! :P Just not the kind that has patients!
MaisyDaisy: I know, it's the swoonworthy love that I want. Someone romantic, something based off a friendship like between Emma and Mr. Knightley. Lol, I highly doubt there will be a guy like that nowadays though. As for the procrastination, it's because I do want that degree in hand and the only way to do that is work. However when work does NOT work, this causes such a huge hitch in this whole cycle business! Drives me batty!
I am awful at motivation especially when it comes to research and work. I do everything I can to put it off.
Bayjb: That's what usually happens. Looks like a shortage of motivation in the blogging world...
i was a grad school procrastinator until i got so frustrated i ran away to japan (two years ago... still here!) :p
and now all my friends are finishing up and having the same issues as you are. just do it! you wouldnt be at this stage if you didnt have it in you to finish!
gung ho!
Sarah: Wow, leaving the country, I should think about that too ;). Thanks for motivating me...it means a lot to know that someone else out there feels the same way out there. By any chance, are any of your friends bloggers. Care to share their blogs? :) I need all the comradery that I can get at this moment. Thanks for commenting!
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